I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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