i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Let's get the cat blown out
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
