She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
