It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
