I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
