i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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