I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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