i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
