Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
