Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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