You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
