Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
