watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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