I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
