32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
