You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
