omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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