Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
