My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
