I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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