Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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