this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
