Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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