would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Girls should come with a carfax report
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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