i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
