So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
