i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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