He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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