i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
