Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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