oh god the rape fog is back!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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