i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
