At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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