I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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