dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
