then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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