he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
