I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
