Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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