That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
