I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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