Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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