we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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