I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
