There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
