In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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