census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
