Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
