Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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