He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
